Almost two months

Wow I can't believe that he's been gone for almost two months and now it's already time for him to return home. The first week he was gone was difficult and long but then the time just kind of flew by. The distance definitely didnt bring us any closer together like I had hoped but it amazingly enough helped me sort through my thoughts since I had nothing else to do. Lots has happened since he left and ironically enough nothing REALLY has happened... I guess i just feel like lots has happened because I have come to realize so many things. Life is too short to spend it wishing for something to change. I have never liked being the girl that bithches and moans about her life... If i dont like something I need to change it and if it cant be changed then it's time to move on! The next few months are critical, holidays sometimes overwhelm us and although it should be a happy, warm, cozy, loving time I'm kind of dreading it. I wish I would just sleep through the next few months and just wake up to find everything resolved and in its place. I hate not knowing what the next move is but there's only one way to find out what that will be, although the question I need to ask is scary and not ideal I need to ask it before i fall out of love and hate invades my heart! I've kind of been rambling for the past month and no one ever really knows what i'm saying including myself but I am so emotionally exhausted I need an outlet and I finally found one even if what I write doesnt make any sence I feel better after I'm done... it's a cliché but truly only time will tell.....

My Saturday with You!

Woke up early this morning feeling super energized and got a lot accomplished before 10 am:) Changed the oil on my beauty Altima, Did some christmas shopping, bought some yummy bailey's irish creme and butterscotch schnapps for next saturdays Girl's Night and now getting ready to head to a baseball game with the munchkin in the park. Later we will wind down at my momma's house and hopfully be back home before bed time:) I dont know how i'd be able to have so much fun with my boy if I were a single parent. I love that i'm able to spend time with him all day and be apart of everything he does and learns I truly would be heart broken if I would have to leave him to go to work, but you never know what the future may hold I better take advantage of it now. Happy Saturday!

Christmas Shopping + Thanksgiving Planning= Headache

So today I want to go christmas shopping for a few gifts but have no idea where to start!! Gotta love the BX at March Air Force Base cause I dont have to pay taxes but sometimes more often than not things are a little pricier! Toys might be around the same price or cheaper so I think i'll shop there for my munchkin and God Sons :) You can never go wrong with toys for tots! I am hosting Thanksgiving this year for the first time at my house and it should be fun but stressful! I need everything from tablecloths to silverware to the most important thing... A GUEST LIST!! Not sure who's coming except for my mom and my sister... they are at the top of my list! Other than that it's still up in the air. Gotta make some calls then huh?

10 Years

Ten Years ago today something happened that changed the course of my life forever... Ten Years ago today was the beginning of an amazing, bumpy, sad, painful, joyful road that would lead to the most amazing thing in my life... My Son. Ten Years ago at 4:30 pm My Then Friend Mario Puente asked me to be more than his friend... I had waited months for that moment to happen and as suprised as I was I knew it was somthing that would happen sooner or later cause what Denise wanted Denise Got!! From that moment on my view of what love was completely changed! I was an inexperienced spoiled brat who took him for granted and hurt him badly, but made him even happier at times. We were young and had no idea what the future held. Ten years is a long time to know someone... I can tell what he's thinking without him saying a word, I get irritated at the things he does sometimes as does he with me... I feel like we've both changed, sometimes not for the better but how could we not change. We put eachother through the best and the worst of situations. We shared a horrible painful experience twice.... the lose of two of our children both 2 months into my pregnancy. We shared amazing experiences like school dances, the night he proposed, the day of our wedding, the birth of our son. We went through rough times that broke us like Basic training, and 2 deployments. Now we find ourselves lost because we have thrown ourselves into different projects... him his work... me our son... sometimes i feel like my vision is so clouded by so many outside things I cant see or find him. Rough times still lie ahead and I hope that we can survive them the way we have so far. Ten Years ago today my life changed and No matter what... I wouldnt change it for the world!

Proud to Be

Today is veteran's day and I find myself so proud to have a husband who has fought for our country not once but twice. I think of what he must have experienced while in Iraq, and I hope to never experience that myself but I still can't imagine the stuff he went through. I think of what was going on at home while he was away and i have to say I was such a bad girlfriend. I guess I never understood how much i was of an importance to him, especially while being in a war away from family and friends. But I am here now, he's away again and even though he's not in the dangers of war, I now know how important it is to be there for him when he needs me. Life goes on while he's away but I try to fill him in and make him feel like he were here with us. I am so proud to have him in my life!! Everything we're going through is set aside for now and I hope he feels how proud I am of him and I hope he sees how hard I am trying... Happy Veteran's Day.